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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Think
Yoga
Thinking
Early
Spend
Information
Brain
Half
Feeding
Trying
Brains
Years
Latter

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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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