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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Trying
Brains
Years
Latter
Think
Yoga
Thinking
Early
Spend
Information
Brain
Half
Feeding
More quotes by George Carlin
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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