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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Trying
Brains
Years
Latter
Think
Yoga
Thinking
Early
Spend
Information
Brain
Half
Feeding

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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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