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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Fun
Shorter
Funny
Traveler
Inspirational
Trip
Next
Gas
Take
Silly
Miles
Save
Kilometers
Travel
Tripping

More quotes by George Carlin

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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
George Carlin
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
George Carlin
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
George Carlin