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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Kilometers
More quotes by George Carlin
Cancer research is a growth industry.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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