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Cancer research is a growth industry.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Cancer
Research
Industry
Growth
Science

More quotes by George Carlin

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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
George Carlin
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
George Carlin
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George Carlin
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
George Carlin
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
George Carlin
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin