Quote

Cancer research is a growth industry.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Science
Cancer
Research
Industry
Growth

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
Image
Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
George Carlin
Image
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
Image
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
Image
What year did Jesus think it was?
George Carlin
Image
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
George Carlin
Image
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
Image
Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
George Carlin
Image
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
Image
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
George Carlin
Image
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
Image
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
Image
Language always gives you away.
George Carlin
Image
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
Image
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
Image
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
Image
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
George Carlin
Image
And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
George Carlin
Image
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
Image
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
George Carlin