Quote

Cancer research is a growth industry.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Science
Cancer
Research
Industry
Growth

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
Image
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
George Carlin
Image
I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
George Carlin
Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Image
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
Image
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
Image
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
Image
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
Image
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
George Carlin
Image
You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
George Carlin
Image
In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
George Carlin
Image
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
Image
Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
George Carlin
Image
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Image
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
Image
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Image
It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
George Carlin
Image
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
Image
I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
Image
The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin