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Cancer research is a growth industry.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Growth
Science
Cancer
Research
Industry

More quotes by George Carlin

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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
George Carlin
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Hooray for most things!
George Carlin
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It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
George Carlin
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
George Carlin
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
George Carlin
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
George Carlin
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
George Carlin
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
George Carlin