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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Pet
Plants
Surround
Plant
Whatever
Whether
Keepsakes
Family
Pets
Music
Hobbies

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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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