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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Plants
Surround
Plant
Whatever
Whether
Keepsakes
Family
Pets
Music
Hobbies
Love
Pet
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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