Quote

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Changed
Funny
Money
Change
Nothing
Nothingness
Dollar
Machines
Dollars

More quotes by George Carlin

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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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