Quote

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Feet
Felt
Better
Feel
Feels
Mets
Men
Shoes
Sorry
Took

More quotes by George Carlin

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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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The status quo sucks.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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