Quote

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Felt
Better
Feel
Feels
Mets
Men
Shoes
Sorry
Took
Feet

More quotes by George Carlin

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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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