Quote

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Shoe
Fits
Fit
Shoes
Another
Like

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
George Carlin
Image
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
Image
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Image
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
Image
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
Image
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
Image
Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
George Carlin
Image
I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
George Carlin
Image
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
Image
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
Image
I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
George Carlin
Image
When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George Carlin
Image
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
Image
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
George Carlin
Image
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
Image
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin
Image
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
Image
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
Image
Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
George Carlin
Image
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
George Carlin