Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Fits
Fit
Shoes
Another
Like
Shoe
More quotes by George Carlin
How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
George Carlin
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
