Quote

I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Ever
Wisdom
Electron
Think
Call
Electrons
Thinking
Greater
Punish
Bigs
Reward
Understand
Rewards
Doesn
Judge
Order
Judging
Part
Higher

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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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