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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thinking
Like
Destroys
Drugs
Atheist
Atheism
Drug
Religion
Mind

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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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