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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Like
Destroys
Drugs
Atheist
Atheism
Drug
Religion
Mind
Thinking

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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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