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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Selfish
Ignorant
Leaders
Gonna
Citizens
Leader

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Your home is your refuge.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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Life is a zero sum game.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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