Quote

Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Created
Tell
Believe
Things
Wet
Men
Painted
People
Invisible
Sky
Touch

More quotes by George Carlin

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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