Quote

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Quite
Although
Wisdom
Memory
Left
Memories
Remember
Learned
Ever
Taught
Something
Wise
Memorized
Never
Knew
Forgot
Men
Either
Wisest

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
George Carlin
Image
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
Image
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Image
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
Image
When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
Image
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
George Carlin
Image
For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
Image
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
Image
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
Image
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Image
I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
George Carlin
Image
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
Image
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
George Carlin
Image
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
Image
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
Image
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
Image
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin