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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Comedian
Humorous
Esteem
Lows
Inspirational
Self
People
Earned

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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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