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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Earned
Comedian
Humorous
Esteem
Lows
Inspirational
Self
People

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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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Hooray for most things!
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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