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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Inspirational
Self
People
Earned
Comedian
Humorous
Esteem
Lows
More quotes by George Carlin
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
George Carlin
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
George Carlin
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
George Carlin
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
George Carlin
A pear is a failed apple.
George Carlin
Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game.
George Carlin
