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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Self
Selves
Shall
Religion
Keep

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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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