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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Self
Selves
Shall
Religion
Keep

More quotes by George Carlin

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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Hooray for most things!
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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