Quote

I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Play
Need
Blues
Enough
Notes
Needs
Played
Secret
Tell
Littles
Little

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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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