Quote

I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Play
Need
Blues
Enough
Notes
Needs
Played
Secret
Tell
Littles
Little

More quotes by George Carlin

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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Language always gives you away.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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