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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Committed
Friendship
Small
Murders
Four
Circle
Friends
Maintain
Three
Circles
Reason
Murder
Good
Victim

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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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Your home is your refuge.
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