Quote

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Four
Circle
Friends
Maintain
Three
Circles
Reason
Murder
Good
Victim
People
Committed
Friendship
Small
Murders

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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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