Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Three
Circles
Reason
Murder
Good
Victim
People
Committed
Friendship
Small
Murders
Four
Circle
Friends
Maintain
More quotes by George Carlin
Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
