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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Away
Moments
Fitness
Take
Measured
Life
Birthday
Breaths
Breathe
Hope
Inspirational

More quotes by George Carlin

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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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