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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Away
Moments
Fitness
Take
Measured
Life
Birthday
Breaths
Breathe
Hope
Inspirational

More quotes by George Carlin

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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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