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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Away
Moments
Fitness
Take
Measured
Life
Birthday
Breaths
Breathe
Hope
Inspirational
More quotes by George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
George Carlin
And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
George Carlin
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
George Carlin
