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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Groups
Humor
Loath
Funny
Identify
Individual
Despise
Love
Belong
Treasure
Individuals
Meet

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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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