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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Belong
Treasure
Individuals
Meet
Groups
Humor
Loath
Funny
Identify
Individual
Despise

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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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