Quote

I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Art
Tech
Give
Multi
States
Edge
Giving
Edges
Life
Lows
Cutting
High
Nanosecond
State
Coastal

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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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Hooray for most things!
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