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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Everyone
Consequences
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Treats
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Consequence
Responsible
However
Christian
Manner
More quotes by George Carlin
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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Life is not that complicated.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
