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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Treat
Think
Treats
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Genuine
Consequence
Responsible
However
Christian
Manner
Everyone
Consequences

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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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