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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Consequences
More quotes by George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
George Carlin
I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
George Carlin
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
George Carlin
I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
George Carlin
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Cancer research is a growth industry.
George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George Carlin
And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
George Carlin
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin