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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
George
Washington
Brother
Country
Lawrence
Uncle
Uncles
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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