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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Brother
Country
Lawrence
Uncle
Uncles
George
Washington

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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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