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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Lawrence
Uncle
Uncles
George
Washington
Brother
Country

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I believe you can joke about anything.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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