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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Washington
Brother
Country
Lawrence
Uncle
Uncles
George

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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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