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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Lawrence
Uncle
Uncles
George
Washington
Brother
Country

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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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