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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Challenge
Side
Challenges
Sides
Situation
Find
Every
Humorous
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Life is not that complicated.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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