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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
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Film Actor
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Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Lost
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Conservatives
Money
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Poor
More quotes by George Carlin
The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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No comment is a comment.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
George Carlin
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
George Carlin
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
George Carlin
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
George Carlin
That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
George Carlin