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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Conservatives
Money
Invest
Political
Lose
Give
Loses
Giving
Rich
Much
Poor
Lost
Incentive
Given
Incentives
More quotes by George Carlin
It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
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