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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Give
Loses
Giving
Rich
Much
Poor
Lost
Incentive
Given
Incentives
Tell
Conservatives
Money
Invest
Political
Lose
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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