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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Much
Poor
Lost
Incentive
Given
Incentives
Tell
Conservatives
Money
Invest
Political
Lose
Give
Loses
Giving
Rich
More quotes by George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George Carlin
One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
George Carlin
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
George Carlin
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin