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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Advice
Groups
Stupid
Philosophy
Bumper
Nature
Underestimate
Power
Stupidity
Never
Intelligence
People
Large
More quotes by George Carlin
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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