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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sitting
Humor
Stage
Audience
Funny
Inspirational
Life
World

More quotes by George Carlin

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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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The status quo sucks.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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