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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Captains
Wine
Goes
Crunch
Captain
More quotes by George Carlin
For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
George Carlin
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
George Carlin
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
George Carlin
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
George Carlin
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
George Carlin
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
George Carlin
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
