Quote

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bagpipes
Hooked
Crack
Cracks
Aren
Play
Many
People

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
Image
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
Image
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
George Carlin
Image
The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
Image
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
Image
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
George Carlin
Image
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George Carlin
Image
A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
Image
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
George Carlin
Image
Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
George Carlin
Image
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
Image
Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
Image
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
George Carlin
Image
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
George Carlin
Image
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
Image
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
Image
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
George Carlin
Image
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Image
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Image
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin