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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Butterfly
Witty
Humorous
Gets
Humor
Caterpillar
Funny
Caterpillars
Doe
Publicity
Work
Sarcastic

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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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