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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Butterfly
Witty
Humorous
Gets
Humor
Caterpillar
Funny
Caterpillars
Doe
Publicity
Work
Sarcastic

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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