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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Need
Parents
Promoting
Children
Proud
Sarcastic
Scholastic
Needs
Parent
Witty
Scholastics
Like
Child
Humorous
Sticker
Funny
Sufficient
Bumper
Doesn
Esteem
Achievements
Back
Achievement
Minor
Self
Car
Minors
More quotes by George Carlin
Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
George Carlin
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
George Carlin
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
George Carlin
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
George Carlin
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin