Quote

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Doesn
Esteem
Achievements
Back
Achievement
Minor
Self
Car
Minors
Need
Parents
Promoting
Children
Proud
Sarcastic
Scholastic
Needs
Parent
Witty
Scholastics
Like
Child
Humorous
Sticker
Funny
Sufficient
Bumper

More quotes by George Carlin

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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
George Carlin
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
George Carlin
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George Carlin
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
George Carlin
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin